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Fife's Got Everything

from Shores of the Forth by John Watt & Davey Stewart

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about

Another humorous look at Fife through the eyes of John Watt with verses 3 and 4 herewith by Davey. The tune is a variant of the Strathspey Smith’s a Gallant Fireman. Central Park is Cowdenbeath Football Club’s home ground. The naval dockyard of Rosyth lies within the city boundary of Dunfermline.

lyrics

The New Tay Road Bridge, finest in the country,
Half a croon tae cross it and it disnae raise a cheer;
It’s a bob tae cross the Mersey, ye can stuff it up yer jersey,
Would they pay it down in London, oh no bloody fear.

Chorus:
Oh Fife’s got everything, just the place for tourists,
See the bonny pit bings staundin in a raw.

Fife’s entertainments, finest in the country,
We’re the boys tae come tae if ye want tae get some tips;
There’s fitba at Central Park, neckin burdies in the dark,
Haggis suppers, hot pies, bingo and chips.

Fife’s Scotch Whisky, finest in the country,
Distilled frae mountain water at the Coaltown of Markinch;
Man it’s got such power, matured for half an hour,
So don’t be vague and ask for •••• it’s whisky at a pinch.

Fife Coast beaches, finest in the country,
If ye like sewage, floatin mond yer toes;
The Costa the East Neuk, it’s enough tae mak ye bloody puke,
If ye want tae go in for a dook, ye hae tae haud yer nose.

Noo Fife’s got culture, finest in the country,
Oh when it comes tae arty talk, oh we’re no the mugs;
We’ve got Chink nags on oor waas, a wheen o gonks in oor haas,
Vernon Ward, Tretchikof and white wally dugs.

The Rosyth Dockyaird, finest in the country,
If ye want a cushy job just working for the State;
There’s auld folks, blind folks, holiday inclined folks,
And if ye want a submarine, just hurl it oot the gate.

Chorus:
Oh Fife’s got everything, just the place for tourists,
See the bonny pit bings staundin in a raw.

credits

from Shores of the Forth, released November 10, 1976

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